Do You Hear What I Hear?

August 15, 2008 at 11:40 am (A Servant of God, Simple Meanderings)

As a fifty something I really wasn’t prepared to find out that my hearing was not long for this world.  It started in my thirties as a result of damaged nerve endings caused by Meniere’s disease. The moderate loss was bearable, and sometimes even convenient in situations when I didn’t want to hear and was happy for an excuse not to.

But recent exams faced me with the devastating news of “moderate to severe loss in one ear across the board, and severe in the other across the board” and steadily declining. So here I am with the acquisition of two new hearing aids and I am a step up from before, but as the doctor put it, “not the bionic woman” so don’t be dissappointed that the hearing is not 100 percent after the aids.

There is irony all around here. Let me explain.  First, I spent the last five years paying for my daughter’s college degree; a Bachelor’s in Deaf Studies.  Secondly, I spent the last four years paying and working hard to obtain my own certification as a Spiritual Director, – the art of hearing if you will. I have yet to untangle the meaning of all of this, but I am sure God will reveal it to me in good time.

But through all this I have thought about “hearing” and silence.  I have thought about a world of noise that I often wish I didn’t hear; mean spiritedness, lies, deceit, depravity. I have thought about silence, when speaking up was warranted. Where in my life have I failed to listen instead of talking, and how often did I keep silent when the marginalized voices could not be heard, and I had the power to speak for them–but didn’t?

What about the times when I spoke, but said nothing, or when I said nothing and my actions told my story, both good ones and bad ones. 

Hearing is a funny thing. We hear but do we listen?  As a spiritual director one phrase that stuck out in my training that I will always carry with me is, “Listening is more than just shuttting up.”  Not sure who said it, not sure where I read it but I am sure that it defines our whole lives of communication with others.

I think I will have a conversation with God about all this- because Him I hear quite clearly.

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The Great Divide: dissension without derision.

July 8, 2008 at 4:05 pm (A Servant of God)

I am a Catholic. I am one of God’s own. No better than others, and hopefully no worse.

I am amidst great noise, even in my subsequent deafness.  How ironic!

The noise is derision among people of my faith.  Keep in mind I said derision not dissension.  What’s the difference?  Let’s let Webster define it. Dissension: disagreement, especially : partisan and contentious quarreling. Derision: the use of ridicule or scorn to show contempt. Get it? One is more passive the other is more active. 

You see if you are a “traditionalist” or as some call them “EWTN’ers” you like what the Pope and the Church likes, rules regulations, doctrine, Tradition, tradition, etc etc. If you are a liberal then you take some, but not all, make up some, modify some and eliminate some (rules that is).  Ok ..before you go blasting me because you are on one side or the other, this is a “tongue in cheek” attempt to laugh at ourselves.  Still not laughing…then don’t read further. You won’t get it.  Voltaire once said, “God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.”  Was he right? Are we too afraid to laugh?

As Catholics, we are one Church. One people of God. One faith. How we walk that path of faith in our spiritual journeys is as diverse as the people who inhabit this earth. And that my friends is ok.  We all know in our heart of hearts that there is more than one way to meet God. There is more than one path to know Jesus intimately. Then how the heck come we can’t get along?  There will always be dissension, but there doesn’t have to be derision. We CAN live harmoniously IF we follow Jesus, “love one another as I have loved you.”  Period. No buts, no excepts. no asterisks.

Think about it, pray about it. At least it’s a start. Next time your inclination is to say something derogatory or self righteous. Stop and to use a cliche, think about WWJD.

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Thought Provoking Meditation

July 8, 2008 at 3:45 pm (A Servant of God)

Meditation

There is only one God, but an endless variety of human misunderstandings of God. Our ideas of God will always be inadequate, but can at least be healthy, that is, enable us to grow. To achieve this health we must move:

 

-          -from a god we can understand, possess and dispense to others to a god of infinite surprise.

-          from an elderly male god to a god who is above all our limitations

-          from a religion in which beliefs, duties and worship hold first place to a religion in which a love relationship with God holds first place

-          from a religion in which we must constantly abase ourselves before God to a religion in which self denial and self love work together to help us become ‘fully alive’

-          from a commercial relationship with a god whose rewards can be earned by doing right things to a love relationship with a god who is pure gift

-          from a relationship in which we determine exactly what part God shall be allowed in our lives to a love relationship of total giving

-          from a god who demands that we bridge the gap between us to a god who always takes the first step and comes to us

-          from a world in which meaning comes from fulfilling the duties to a world in which meaning comes from the sum total of all the loves of our lives

-          from a god greatly concerned with glory and majesty to a god not threatened by anything human beings can do, but caring passionately what they do to each other, to themselves and to their community

-          from a god whose glory is to be found in our obedience to a god whose glory is found in our growth

-          from an angry god, not a god of soft love, but to a god who, ,out of love, is never afraid to challenge us to grow

-          from prayer which consists solely in words to a prayer in which our whole lives seek to express our desire for God

-          from a god about whom we use many words to a god whose greatness and mystery reduce us to silent wonder

 

            From “Confronting Power and Sex in the Catholic Church – Reclaiming the Spirit of Jesus –Bishop Geoffrey Robinson

 

 

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Values, Property Values and No Values At All

June 12, 2008 at 4:22 pm (A Servant of God)

Recently our city’s soup kitchen lost its location and needs to be relocated. Unfortunately moving a soup kitchen is not easy. You see everybody is in agreement that it is a necessary service, but most don’t want it near them.

http://www.thereminder.com/Localnews/chicopee/neighborsopposefoo/ 

They feel that way about prisons too, and clinics and a host of other “necessary” services.  They say that “alcoholics and addicts” will ruin the neighborhood and their children are unsafe and will no longer be able to play outside.  They say this because they have never worked in a soup kitchen.  If they did then they would see what I see, families with children, older people on fixed incomes, economically challenged young adults who for whatever reason ended up on the streets.  Are there “alcoholics and addicts”? Well not nearly as many as there are in Hollywood and a host of other well to do cities (our own included). But those “alcoholics and addicts” are different, they have jobs and pay taxes and have families.  And there are two other places where “alcoholics and addicts” are rampant, and sex too, and violent, deviant behavior but those places are ok -t.v. and the internet. But they are “safe” in their homes.  So that’s ok for my kids to see. They say “what will my children think?” Will they emulate that behavior?

I say they will emulate your compassion or lack of it, they will emulate your good will or adopt your valueless ideals. Instead of property values, examine your moral values. Reread the corporal works of mercy and tell me how you can turn away these families who need a leg up right now to feed their kids.

It makes me sad, it makes me angry and it makes me sick.  It also makes me pray more fervently and more often than ever. I pray for change of heart-not for them- for me. That I can understand what makes them so angry, that I can understand what drives their opinions but mostly I pray they never end up needing that service, because it may not be in their backyard, or my backyard or anybodys backyard.

 

 

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In The Immortal Words of Mother Teresa: “What Are You Going To Do About it?”

May 30, 2008 at 2:25 pm (A Servant of God)

\This is the kind of thing that happens often in my life; often enough to know the hand of God is near.
I just returned from a momentous occaision, watching my first born (and only) graduate from college.  I am not sure if I was more moved by the experience or my heart was leaping for joy at having a gainfully employed adult which will leave my checkbook rest for a bit.

Anyway, on the first leg of the trip they asked for a volunteer to give up
their seat in exchange for an additional round trip ticket anywhere in the
US and since I wasn’t in a hurry I was game. This put me on a flight next to
a woman of Indian descent. She began to meditate as the jet engines fired
up, raised her hand in blessing as the plane took off the ground, then she
opened a book, The Healing Power of the Eucharist.

I knew we had common ground so I began a conversation with her. She told me
she was a Missionary of Charity with Mother Teresa in Calcutta for many
years (during mid to late 70’s she is about my age).  She took ill and on the
second bout Mother urged her to go back to the US to spare her health. She
is originally from Sri Lanka.  She was filled with Mother Teresa stories to
my delight.

I mentioned a desire myself to do some missionary work at some
point so she invited me to come to Tuscon where she works on one of the
poorest tribal reservations teaching children. They come from severely
alcoholic familes and they are extremely
poor. I think Mother’s wisdom rubbed off on her and she said, “well God gave
you the free ticket, now he’s giving you the opportunity what are you going
to do about it?”  Wow..when God works in my life, he really works in my life!
She had some wonderful stories about Mother meeting with a group of women
trying to get her on board with women’s ordination (that must have been fun
to watch!), and many others. I asked her if she ever thought of writing these stories down, and she said ”you know people always ask me that.”  I did get her to promise to send me a few and I would post here or on the women’s forum www.womenofspringfield.org

More to come……so what am I going to do about?  Looks like a free trip to Tuscon is in my immediate future.

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How Long Has That Been There?

May 14, 2008 at 8:57 am (Strange Ponderings and Revelations)

How Long Has That Been There?
A friend sent this to me & I sure did not know it.  I never read the ends of the
box. Duh!!!  Bet you’ll go to your kitchen to check this one out.  I did.

Well, I’m not telling everyone my age, as most of you already know…BUT.I
had to go into the kitchen & check this out for myself.  Who ever looks at the
end of your aluminum foil box?  What a fantastic idea.  Now, if someone would
just make plastic wrap that didn’t stick to itself.

I’ve been using aluminum foil for more years than I care to remember. Great
stuff, but sometime it can be a pain. You know, like when you are in the
middle of doing something & you try to pull some foil out & the roll comes out
of the box. Then you have to put the roll back in the box & start over. The darn roll always comes out at the wrong time.

Well, I would like to share this with you. Yesterday I went to throw out an
empty Reynolds foil box & for some reason I turned it & looked at the end of
the box.  And written on the end it said, “Press here to lock end”.  Right there
on the end of the box is a tab to lock the roll in place.  How long has this little locking tab been there?  

I then looked at a generic brand of aluminum foil & it had one, too.  I then looked at a box of Saran wrap & it had one too! 
 I can’t count the number of times the Saran wrap roll has jumped out when I was trying to cover something up.

 

Make me wonder what else in life I have been missing!

 

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Reversing The Role

May 13, 2008 at 11:21 pm (I Am The Child: A Role Reversal)

I think as I get older one of the worst realizations for me is the idea that I now become the parent and the parent becomes the child.  Being of an age where most of my friends are going through this same experience it is no less a puzzlement.

I suppose there are many reasons why we don’t remember our parents having to do this.  One reason of course is that people are living longer so there is a greater opportunity for this situation to arise.  Our grandparents perhaps didn’t live as long so there was not so much of a chance that they would become the caretakers we have become.

Being a fifty something, we no sooner get our kids graduated from college than we become the proud parents of our parents and find ourselves, driving them to Dr’s appointments, fixing plumbing, repairing stair handles and installing safety grip bars in the bathroom. This by no means is a complaint just an observation about where I am or where we are and wondering where will we be in 20 years and will our kids face the same thing?

Reminds me of my favorite Shel Silverstein Poem:

THE LITTLE BOY & THE OLD MAN
 
Said the little boy, "Sometimes I drop my spoon."
Said the old man, "I do that, too."
The little boy whispered, "I wet my pants."
"I do that too," laughed the little old man.
Said the little boy, "I often cry."
The old man nodded, "So do I."
"But worst of all," said the boy, "it seems
Grown-ups don't pay attention to me."
And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.
"I know what you mean," said the little old man.
 
            -- Shel Silverstein

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“MOM!!! There’s this green thing growing..is that ok?”

May 5, 2008 at 3:05 am (On Parenting)

When they go off to college the conversations change; especially when they dorm three thousand miles away.  So when the phone rings and it starts out with …’So you see….its like this’ I always get nervous. “So mom, is it ok if there is this green thing growing like larger than anything…and I just don’t know if its ok.”  In my head I immediately scanned my mommy medical knowledge to think of possibilities and to formulate a good response…then I realized we were talking about cooking and the subject with the unusal growth protruding from its end was an onion whose time was about to expire.” Whew! Another strange situation averted!

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“Super Size Me Jesus And Another Guy In A Pointy Hat!”

April 25, 2008 at 9:56 pm (On Parenting)

I was bestowed a great honor by my employer for the first time about six years ago and had  the privilege of appearing live on a national television show in California. It coincided with the opening of the great Cathedral in Los Angeles, Our Lady of the Angels so I definately wanted to see that much to the dismay of my young traveling companion, my then sixteen year old daughter. The day would end with a trip to Universal Theme Park afterwards so you can only imagine the antsiness of a teenager sitting in a church when the next stop is their own definition of heaven.

Two things stayed with  me from that day.  The cathedral is immense.  I don’t recall how many it can hold but I know it is thousands. There were only a few hundred that day because it was post opening celebration and just another Mass day.   As the Bishop of Santa Barbara raised what appeared to be a host the size of a small personal pizza, my child says, nearly audible to those close by, “Super-Size -Me- Jesus lookit that host!” Even I thought that was funny.

Upon leaving the services we met with Cardninal Mahony, chatted for a bit, took a few photos and we were on our way. I began to realize just how impatient she was getting and how second nature all these experiences were for her. I tried to explain to her sixteen year old mind the magnitude of being able to meet him, since he could one day be the Pope (well it could happen) to which she replied. “yeah yeah yeah another guy in a pointy hat can we go to Universal now?”

 

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“And Then There Was A Time…”

April 25, 2008 at 9:34 pm (On Parenting)

And then there was the time…..

It was the final concert for the band Phish in a little town in Vermont.  She called me at noon on Thursday to say she was with her three or four other friends in the car and they were two miles from the concert entrance. All was well. On Friday at 11:00 am (23hrs later)  she said, all is well we are one mile from the entrance!  They proceeded to abandon the car on the roadside as did the 30,000 others and walk the last mile.  The weekend was torrential rain, mix in a host of porta potties visited by the gazillion young adults, adults and the likes, knee deep mud and the rest of the story tells itself. Or should I say the rest of the story “smells” itself. Upon returning her first words were “What an amazing time, it was awesome, it was crazy fun.”  Now at this point I smelled her coming as she sat in front of me I said, “sweetheart I love ya but shower then talk ok?”

Fast forward a day, and it’s house cleaning day and I assigned her the bathroom and made very specific mention to scrub the tub (of which she had left severe mud rings), to which she replied, “ahh do I have to  that’s gross!”  Says the young lady who only a day before was knee deep in mud, relieving herself in much used porta potties and living in a sweaty car for a day with four other equally aromatic young adults.

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